Putting Yourself First: A Guide to Self-Care During the Holiday Season
The holiday season is often portrayed as a time for family bonding, festive celebrations, and joyful memories. But for many, it can also be a time of emotional tension, overwhelming expectations, and a sense of loss. Whether it's the well-meaning but overbearing relative, the pressure to be constantly cheerful, or the painful absence of a loved one, the holidays can sometimes feel like a marathon that tests our limits.
If you’re grieving the loss of someone dear, separated from your family, or simply feeling the weight of societal expectations, it’s essential to remember that your emotional well-being matters. Protecting your peace during the holidays is not just about managing family dynamics—it’s about finding ways to nurture yourself and honor your emotional needs.
Here’s how you can harness your power this holiday season, carve out time for yourself, and protect your peace:
1. Set Boundaries Early
The first step in protecting your peace is realizing it’s okay to say no. While family and friend gatherings are a hallmark of the holiday season, they don’t have to come with the expectation that you’ll participate in everything or sacrifice your needs to please others.
This is especially important if you’re grieving or feeling isolated. If certain traditions or gatherings are too painful or overwhelming, it’s okay to skip them. Set clear boundaries with family members and friends. Let them know you may need some quiet time or space.
You’re allowed to say no to certain events or topics without feeling guilty. Boundaries are an essential part of self-care, and people who care about you will understand your need to protect your well-being.
Example: “I love spending time with you all, but I need some quiet time to recharge this evening. I hope you understand.”
2. Create a “Safe Space” for Yourself
If you're missing someone who’s passed away or feeling disconnected from your family, giving yourself the time and space to process your feelings is vital. A few minutes of solitude can help you regain perspective, honor your grief, and recharge your emotional battery.
Example: Create a calm, reflective space with a blanket, a journal, or a comforting playlist—whatever helps you feel centered.
3. Practice Mindful Disconnecting
The constant bombardment of phone calls, social media posts, and text messages can make it feel like you’re always “on.” During the holidays, it's easy to get caught up in digital distractions and the pressure to keep up appearances. Sometimes, taking a break from your phone or social media can be an effective way to stay grounded and present in the moment.
Set boundaries around technology: limit your phone use, mute notifications, or even designate certain hours where you disconnect from the digital world. This will give you the mental space to engage more authentically with your surroundings, and most importantly, with yourself.
Example: Try leaving your phone in another room for an hour to enjoy a quiet moment of solitude or connect with others without digital distractions.
4. Make Time for Solo Activities You Enjoy
Taking time for activities that make you feel whole can provide the emotional strength needed to navigate holiday gatherings and pressures.
Example: Set aside 30 minutes in the morning or evening to sip coffee, read a book, or go for a peaceful walk in nature.
5. Communicate Your Needs with Compassion
Sometimes the stress of family dynamics comes from the feeling that others don’t understand your emotional state or your needs. If you’re grieving, feeling overwhelmed, or simply not able to be with your family this year, communicating your needs with kindness and clarity can help prevent unnecessary tension.
Rather than bottling up feelings of resentment, express your needs calmly. Whether you need space, a break from certain topics, or to sit out of a particular activity, communicating your limits with compassion will help protect your mental health and ease any misunderstandings.
Example: “I’m feeling a little overwhelmed today, so I’m going to take some time for myself. I’ll join you in a little while.”
6. Practice Gratitude for the Small Moments
While the holidays can be draining, they also offer an opportunity for reflection and gratitude. If you’re facing a tough season or missing someone you love, try to shift your focus to the small moments that bring you peace, comfort, and joy.
Maybe it’s the warmth of a cozy blanket, a meaningful phone call, or the simple pleasure of a cup of tea. These small moments of connection—whether with yourself, your memories, or a supportive friend—can anchor you in the present, offering a reprieve from stress or sadness.
7. Remember, It’s Okay to Leave Early
Sometimes, the best way to protect your peace is to leave when you’ve had enough. Whether you're emotionally drained, grieving, or simply need some time to rest, don’t feel obligated to stay at a gathering longer than you’re comfortable with. You’re not required to explain yourself to anyone; a simple, “I’ve had a wonderful time, but I need to head out to rest” is more than enough.
If you're feeling overwhelmed or stressed by the season, leaving early could give you the quiet time you need to process your emotions and maintain your balance.
Example: After a long day of family events, leave early to focus on self-care, whether that’s watching a favorite movie, resting, or spending time in quiet reflection.
Final Thoughts: Prioritize YOU
The holiday season can be chaotic, full of demands, family expectations, and reminders of those we’ve lost. But remember: you are allowed to prioritize your well-being. Protecting your peace doesn’t mean avoiding the holidays or disconnecting entirely from family and friends—it means carving out space to care for yourself while navigating the emotional complexities of this time of year.
No matter what the holidays bring your way, it’s important to honor your own emotional needs. By setting boundaries, making time for self-care, communicating your feelings, and focusing on the small moments of joy, you can create a holiday season that’s not about perfection, but about peace, healing, and connection on your own terms.
So, take a deep breath, set your boundaries, and remember: your peace is worth protecting. You’ve got this.