How Your Biography Creates Your Biology

Have you ever heard the saying, “You are what you eat”?

I’m sure you have, as it’s a common expression your mom probably shared with you growing up, hoping it would make you more aware of your food choices and help keep you healthy and fit. What you might not have heard as much is, “You are what you think you are.” It’s true—your thoughts create your reality, and this also impacts your health and well-being.

From the time you are born until around age five, you absorb most of your information about the world, people, and what is safe and unsafe. You are constantly absorbing information from your environment. The child’s brain and the adult brain function differently. The prefrontal cortex in a child's brain is not fully developed yet, which means children lack the ability to reason and manage emotional reactions. For example, a child might scream and cry because they are afraid of the dark and will do anything to comfort that fear instead of facing it. In contrast, the adult brain has the ability to manage impulsive emotions, reason, and recognize that there is nothing to be afraid of. You may still have a slight fear of the dark as an adult, but by telling yourself, “There is nothing to be afraid of” or “I am not afraid,” and changing your narrative, you can eventually overcome that fear. These imprints from our childhood linger in our subconscious mind until we decide to change them.

Almost everyone on earth, myself included, is an excellent self-critic. We look in the mirror, inspect our flaws, and tell ourselves that we are too chubby, not pretty enough, or that we can be so stupid at times. When you desire something in life—such as a new career, a healthy body, or a loving relationship—you may hold yourself back because subconsciously you fear you’re not worthy enough to have it. So why do you tell yourself these self-loathing stories? Why do you pick yourself apart instead of building yourself up?

Self-criticism is learned at a very young age.

This criticism stems from your upbringing and what you observed your parents (or whoever raised you) do or not do, which leaves an imprint on your programming. These imprints are stored in your subconscious mind, and as you age, they begin to surface. For example, let's say as a child you found freedom in playing outside. It was always an adventure running around barefoot, rolling around in the dirt, joyfully screaming, courageously climbing trees, and laughing endlessly.

However, your parents did not tolerate your exuberant play. You were frequently dirty, loud, and your hair was often a mess. They commented on your appearance and voice, criticizing you for not being "ladylike." This criticism may have led you to feel self-conscious and question whether your natural interests were acceptable. As an adult, you might find yourself struggling with issues related to appearance, self-expression, joy, self-trust, and setting boundaries. These struggles can manifest physically as acne, weight gain, anxiety, or even depression. Such early imprints can profoundly affect your behavioral patterns, influencing how you act and react in your adult life, whether you are aware of it or not

Picture your younger self, a joyful and curious child of five or younger, full of wonder about life. Imagine if you had stood up for yourself and expressed to your parents how much you loved running wild—how it’s an integral part of who you are, thrilling and adventurous, making you feel truly alive. You might have told them that you didn’t mind getting dirty or being loud. If your parents were unsupportive, they might have warned you of potential dangers or criticized you for not being "ladylike," leading to constant disputes that left you feeling frustrated and unheard. As an adult, you might find yourself avoiding confrontation, feeling unworthy of enjoying life, or hesitating to pursue your true desires out of fear of getting hurt. While these issues might not be overtly apparent, deep down, these early imprints influence your subconscious, contributing to a tendency to stay within your comfort zone.

As a coach, I firmly believe that every behavior and experience stems from a positive intention. Human beings inherently seek love, safety, and belonging, and will go to great lengths to fulfill these needs. For example, if your reluctance to play outside as a child was driven by a desire to avoid upsetting your parents or being perceived as dirty and un-ladylike, the underlying fear might have been losing your sense of belonging or love. This fear can lead to behaviors that preserve the intention of feeling accepted and safe, even if those behaviors are outdated or self-sabotaging. To shift these patterns, it’s essential to change the narrative you hold about yourself.

Changing your narrative requires consistent practice. Essentially, you’re reprogramming your brain and beliefs from the ground up. The good news is that this transformation is not only possible but occurs regularly. One of the most effective ways to reprogram your mind is through daily affirmations—speaking to yourself and about your life in a kind, positive, and loving manner. While it might feel awkward or uncomfortable at first, envision a scenario where every time you look in the mirror, you offer yourself kind words rather than criticize yourself for not meeting your expectations. Instead of viewing your flaws as shortcomings, consider them as potential energy. This perspective shifts the focus from the negative to the positive, illuminating opportunities for growth rather than dwelling in the dark.

Physiologically, it’s stored energy.

Psychologically, it’s stored personal power.
It’s potential energy for creation.
It’s potential energy for self-expression.
It’s life process that’s been put on hold –stored emotions, the digesting of past experience, undelivered communication, undone actions wanting to happen...
Un-owned Power -potential for claiming your gifts, your beauty, goodness, successes...

This perspective is quite different from what we’re used to, and it is so much more empowering! I understand this may feel like a radically new approach, so I’m curious how it resonates with you. How might you integrate more of this potential energy into your life? What could focusing more on this area do for you? Are there any resources or support you need to fully express yourself in this area?

When you become aware of the story you are telling yourself and start telling a positive and empowering story about yourself every single day, your life will dramatically improve. I challenge you to adopt a compassionate tone when addressing yourself. Set a timer for 3 minutes in the morning, look at yourself in the mirror and speak kind words to yourself. Identify and genuinely acknowledge as many positive qualities about yourself as possible. Throughout your day, be mindful of negative self-talk, such as thoughts like “I hate the way I look” or “I can never do anything right.” When you catch yourself thinking these things, try to shift the narrative to a more positive perspective. Additionally, observe when outdated behaviors, such as binge eating or withdrawing in stressful situations, emerge, and reflect on the underlying story behind these actions. Since every person craves love, safety, and belonging, consider what you might be seeking or missing by holding on to these behaviors.

Here are some of my favorite daily affirmations:

-I love my body and all she does for me.

-I can do hard things.

-I am confident in myself.

-I fully and completely trust myself.

-My mind is clear, my heart is open and my body is strong.

-I am worthy of greatness.

-I am overflowing with love for myself and others.

-I am enough.

-I am proud of myself.

You possess greater strength than you realize and have complete authority over your personal narrative. This is the moment to take decisive control of your life. You are inherently worthy of achieving greatness and deserve to find fulfillment and satisfaction in both yourself and your life.

Now is your time,

xoxo

Coach Madz